I cried in the bathroom at my bridal shower. Big, fat, soggy tears, but not because of the reason you might think. I had spent months planning my wedding and was excited to celebrate this milestone moment with everyone in my life. So when the clock steadily ticked past 2:00pm towards 2:15pm, and only seven people were sitting around me, I got up, went to the bathroom, sat on the floor, and cried. I cried for the unmet expectations in my heart. But I also reminded myself that those seven ladies on the other side of the wall were my core group, who always had my back (I know that others wanted to be there, but life happens, and that’s okay. I don’t hold anything against them and still love them dearly).
Having the right people in your life is so important because who you hang out with shapes you as a person. There’s a saying that you become like the five people you spend the most time with. If that’s the case, those five people better align with your core values and how you want to live your life. Whenever I think about what kinds of friendships I want to have, I think about the example the Bible gave us in David and Jonathan. There were two men whose upbringing couldn’t have been more different, and through the Lord’s work, they found kinship with each other. 1 Samuel 18:1 says, “As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” The Hebrew word for “knit” is Bashar קָשַׁר and means to bind, league together, conspire, or to be made stronger. The Lord brought Jonathan into David’s life because He knew that he would need a friend to get through the dark days that were to come, and the same is true for us. God made us to be stronger in community. He designed us for relationships and for friendship. That doesn’t mean you have to be friends with everyone you meet, but you should have a few people you choose to share your life with.
I am immensely blessed to have some incredible women who walk alongside me through thick and thin. But to have this group of ladies, I’ve also decided not to pursue deeper friendships with other people. That’s not to say that I block myself off from others; it just means that I don’t let everyone into my inner circle of friends because I don’t have the capacity to be that vulnerable with that many people. Everyone will have a different amount of friends, and that’s okay; we don’t need to measure our worth based on the number of people standing around us. The Lord has blessed us with wonderful people in our lives, and we should thank Him every day for that.
Do I still wish I’d had a big bridal shower with people filling the room with excited chit-chat and laughter? A small part of me does. But what I got that day was a chance to hang out with all of my people in the same place. To talk about life, love, and the beauty of marriage. And I wouldn’t trade that or any of those people for the world.
Simply Katherina 