I’m Blessed

I wish I had clearer skin…

I want to have a body like hers…

I have to do whatever I can to change what I have into what they have…

Why is it that whenever I see someone who has smooth skin, toned arms, or the perfect cut crease and beach wave hair, I feel the need to do everything in my power to become just like them? Why is comparison so ingrained in our culture that it feels almost impossible to break? Why oh why have I been at war with my body for as long as I can remember? And how can I get off this never-ending treadmill of always trying to act and look like everyone around me? I’ve talked about this before, but it’s a subject that I honestly believe we can never talk about enough; we weren’t created to be living in a constant state of comparison. We were designed to be unique and to use our differences to raise others up and point them back to the Creator. So why do I always feel the need to conform to what the world says I should be?

I Wish…

Whether it’s watching T.V. or going to the movies, even something as simple as standing in line at the grocery store, we’re bombarded with images of “perfect” people. You know the ones that I’m talking about, the girls with perfectly poreless skin and sky-high legs who somehow seem to be able to do anything and everything in 6-inch heels without falling over or twisting an ankle. It’s seeing these images that trigger something in my brain which causes me to go from thinking about what kind of cookies I’ll bake when I get home to having an insatiable urge to Google how to get legs like Mrs. Actress over there. All of these thoughts only serve to drive me deeper into my negative self-talk and to twist the knot in my stomach tighter and tighter.

I Want…

It’s at that point that the wishful thinking turns into a near uncontrollable obsession with getting whatever it is. Whether that means planning on working out twice a day, only eating half of what I usually do, or buying the next miracle acne cream, I do it. And it’s no surprise when after a few short days my body and soul begs me to treat it with kindness. We weren’t meant to be continually abusing our bodies, constantly trying to change and transform ourselves into the shadows of a person the world tells us to become. Obsessively wanting after something doesn’t increase our worth, it only serves to strengthen our unhappiness.

I Have…

Somewhere along the line after the wishing and wanting have left me high and dry, I look in the mirror and see that what I have is what I get. As this thought crosses my mind, I could curl up on the bathroom floor in tears and admit to myself that I’ll never be like the perfect people I see around me all the time (which has happened more often than I’d care to admit). Or I can see myself as the beautiful creation of a brilliant creator. We are fearfully and wonderfully made… I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

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“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.”

– Psalm 39:13-15

The verse is one that you’ve probably heard many times before, but how often have you paused to think about what it means? As my mentor pointed out to me, knitting something takes a lot of time and patience, focus and intention, precision and consideration. I certainly do not have the concentration (or skill) to finish a knitting project (even a scarf); but God had the focus, attention, desire, and creativity to not just come up with the idea of me, but to actually complete the project. And to finish it perfectly.

I am no stuck with this body; this is not as good as it gets. I have been blessed with this magnificent body, I have been given an exceedingly good gift. Taking a statement of defeat and turning it into a cry of victory is possibly one of the hardest battles to win. But when we no longer see ourselves as the imperfect person amongst a crowd of perfect people, but rather see everyone including ourselves as flawed, the tables begin to turn. It doesn’t matter how small of steps you take towards accepting and appreciating who God created you to be, so long as you keep moving forward.

Xoxo,

Katherina

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